The Heart of Kink: Vulnerability

I’ve interviewed countless people for my classes and articles, and whenever I talk to people into kink, BDSM, or fetish play, there’s a common thread. When I ask people why they do what they do, the answer is almost always to feel some kind of vulnerability. We’ve got lots of different ways of getting there, but that core truth remains the same. So much of the fun, juicy stuff happens when you allow yourself to…

Masturbation as self love and ritual

I’m not a Wiccan, but the line from the charge of the goddess, “All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals,” has always resonated with me. I was reminded of that last night, as I sat with a group of femmes passing around a microphone, discussing masturbation. It was my fourth time recording Amory Jane’s podcast, Sex on the Brain, and the second time we were doing it live from a party. Last time was…

Create the orgy you want to see in the world.

Although I never intended to specialize in sex parties, it seems to have happened. It’s simply a kind of play I enjoy in my personal life, which dovetails nicely with my work as a sex educator. Play parties, orgies, threesomes… they’re the stuff of fantasy for a lot of folks. And while there are special considerations when it comes to safety and negotiation, I think they’re also a lot more accessible than you might realize….

Getting wet with Liberator products

I knew I wanted to talk about some of my favorite companies or products for a Valentine’s Day post… the question was, which ones? Well, then I had an experience that answered that question for me. I’m not usually a huge squirter, but I had a date recently that left my comforter absolutely soaked. It wasn’t a wet spot, it was a wet bed. It was late, and I was tired, and I didn’t want…

Adventures in Vulva Cloning

The “pussy cloning” party I recently hosted was not something I’d ever expected to do – but I’m so glad I did. It all started, like many things, with a twist of serendipity. I taught my class, Mapping the Vulva at SheBop a couple months ago, and a blogger from clone-a-willy was in the audience to write about the class. I knew she was there, but never got to talk to her. A little while…

Shame-Free Masturbation May

It’s Masturbation May and masturbation advice and musings are all over my social media feed. It’s making me recall, with fondness, the time I masturbated to orgasm in front of an audience of around 50 people. It was for a class, and this time I was the demo bottom, not the teacher. My friend was teaching an erotic embarrassment and humiliation class for a kink audience, and I volunteered. The problem was, he couldn’t embarrass…

Adding novelty keeps relationships hot and happy – it’s science!

Therapists, coaches, and books that focus on relationships have long said that adding novelty is one of the key ways to keep a relationship hot and happy. Now there’s even more science backing that up. “Sexually successful couples’ [are] more likely to have experimented with sexual variety—from anal stimulation to acting out sexual fantasies to using a sex toy together. And they had sex and orgasms more frequently. “It was encouraging to learn that more…

Show Yourself To Me

One of the most popular topics I work on in classes and with private clients is communication skills. And a common question I’m asked by students and clients is how they can ask for what they want, when they don’t know what they want. This leads us to work on finding fantasies and exploring desire. One of the first tools I suggest is reading erotica. Erotica is a great way to get a little taste…

Celebrating Bisexuality Day

Today is Celebrate Bisexuality Day. As as I considered it’s approach, and watched Bisexual Awareness Week articles pass through my social media feeds, I realized I hadn’t told my whole story. You can hear parts of in my my Mystery Box Show story, and I’ve referenced bits and pieces elsewhere, but it deserves compiling in one place. I can’t remember a time before I was a sexual being. I was always exploring and seeking out…

I’m Speaking at Catalyst Con West!

Two years ago I attended my first Catalyst Con and it was an amazing experience. I met wonderful people like Tristan Taormino, Cunning Minx, Kate McCombs, JoEllen Notte, Epiphora, and more, and even got a writing gig at Kinkly – a job I’m still doing and loving. Those connections, and the things I learned in the workshops, were instrumental in guiding the path my career would take. Although I was a little less wide eyed,…

CONTACT MEto book your custom coaching session right now