What’s the difference between coaching and therapy?
Within both coaching and therapy are numerous specialities, modalities, and styles, meaning there can be more differences within fields than between them. “[T]he differences between two psychotherapists or two coaches may be greater than the difference between a coach and a psychotherapist, depending on who they are,” writes Jenev Caddell, PsyD.
Many people rush to make distinctions between coaching and therapy as a result of unnecessary professional infighting. An article from Psychology Today puts it bluntly, saying people may cling to these distinctions in a combined effort to protect coaching “from claims that it’s therapy without a license… while appeasing therapists on the same grounds.” The same article concludes, “What matters is that people get help in their efforts to grow, master their problems, and become more effective in their lives. Both approaches aim to do this. Who cares (licensing boards notwithstanding) what you call them?”
In fact, coaching and therapy can work very well together. I share referrals with numerous therapists, and clients benefit when we play well together. When a client presents with an issue that’s out of my wheelhouse, I refer to a trusted therapist, and therapists I know do the same, referring their clients to me when they need specialized support. In some cases, clients may even request that their coach and therapist talk to each other.
There is one vital difference between coaching and therapy. Therapists treat mental illness, coaches do not. The rest is details. I’m going to talk about the distinctions that matter, and debunk the ones that don’t.
Myth: Therapy focuses on the past, and coaching focuses on the future.
Many articles discussing the difference between coaching and therapy boil it down to the idea that therapy focuses on the past, and coaching focuses on the future. This is an oversimplification.
Therapy could be the right choice if you’re looking to examine issues from your childhood or past traumas, for example. But it would be unfair to say that work doesn’t also impact your present and future.
Meanwhile, coaching does tend to be goal-oriented and forward-looking. But I’ve absolutely had clients who wanted to spend time exploring their histories and past relationships.
Myth: Therapy is long-term, and coaching is short-term.
Another oversimplification. Some therapy modalities, such as EMDR, are relatively short-term. Meanwhile, I’ve had clients who stayed active for a year or longer. And others that have come and gone over the years, as they wish to address new issues.
How does training differ?
Both coaching and therapy have specialized training. To become a therapist in the United States, you need to complete an academic program. And you may undergo additional training to specialize in a particular area. There are a variety of different programs and certifications, leading to titles such as psychiatrist, psychologist, clinical social worker, or mental health counselor. Although calling yourself a therapist is regulated, the way you present additional specialties or areas of focus may not be.
Training for coaches is even more varied, and coaches are often highly specialized. It’s worth checking the “about” page of any coach you’re interested in working with, as each professional’s journey is unique. Many coaches have relevant academic backgrounds as well as coaching certifications, which may also be general or specialized.
Ideally, all professionals (coaches and therapists included) will focus on continuing education in both formal and informal settings. Attending conferences and workshops, as well as reading new books and studies in relevant fields, helps keep training up to date.
The double-edged sword of academic gatekeeping.
When offering advice on how to find support, many people suggest certain professions or certifications as a way of implying that those professionals will be better suited to the task or held to a higher degree of ethics. But remember that each of those degrees and certifications is expensive — even membership in professional organizations comes at a cost — and consider who those programs leave behind.
While it is certainly important that any professional is qualified to do the job, simply looking for a degree or professional membership doesn’t necessarily mean those professionals are better suited for the task than people without the same degrees.
At the same time, training and experience are important to look at! Although academic programs can offer a great deal of information, universities are also slow to update their curricula. And many academic institutions are incredibly conservative. When it comes to sex, and especially any “alternative” sexualities, therapists and doctors are often left untrained, or left to their own devices when it comes to establishing this knowledge.
Approaches to sex and sexuality are very different.
While some institutions, such as AASECT, have issued position papers on topics such as sex addiction, there is no universal approach to issues of sex, gender, or sexuality within the therapeutic field. In fact, many people complete their degrees and certification without any training in this area, or having taken a single human sexuality class, the contents of which are not standardized. (I know, because I often guest lecture in these classes.)
Meanwhile, a sex or relationship coach has likely spent the bulk of their training focusing on these areas.
Coaches, educators, consultants, etc., can do things therapists can’t.
At least in the United States, the body that certifies therapists is especially twitchy when it comes to sex, and they don’t express clear guidelines when it comes to what is and isn’t allowable. It comes from a good place. Obviously, they want to protect patients from inappropriate behavior by their therapists. But the result is that many therapists can’t or won’t share information about sex.
Most therapists won’t show you sex toys and tell you how they work. Most therapists won’t show you anatomical drawings and explain how bodies work. Most therapists won’t tell you what techniques may bring additional pleasure.
So for those of us who are passionate about sex education and helping people find more pleasure in their lives and in their relationships, there are good reasons to choose coaching over therapy as a profession.
Other practicalities and logistical differences
- Therapists are licensed by the state, and can only see clients from the state in which they are licensed. Coaches have the freedom to work with clients anywhere in the world.
- Therapy is often covered by insurance, and coaching usually is not. However, both therapists and coaches may offer sliding scale options or other financial aid to make their work more accessible.
- In some cases, coaches may see clients outside of the office. In-person coaching sessions may focus on learning practical skills (such as rope bondage) or, in rare cases, help troubleshoot the partnered sex they’re having. (Think director or choreographer – there’s no touching between coach and client.)
Which approach is right for you?
If you need help with any mental health disorder, you need to see a therapist. If you need medication, you may prefer to see a mental health professional who can also prescribe medication.
If you’re looking for more general support or if you’re looking for support with sex, sexuality, or relationships, your choice of practitioner and modality is a matter of personal preference.
How do you find the right professional?
According to Dr. Kristin Davin, “The biggest impact on a successful outcome for therapy or coaching is the fit between practitioner and client… To be successful with therapy or coaching, you should like your [provider]. You should look forward to seeing and working with them.”
So how can you find the right person? Start by reading through provider websites to get a feel for the different practitioners.
- Find out what training and certification they have.
- See how long they’ve been in practice.
- Read their testimonials and reviews.
- Look at their community involvement.
- Find out what backs up their claims of specialty in any given field.
Once you’ve found a few people you’re interested in, reach out and ask questions. Send emails or chat on the phone before booking an appointment. You’re allowed to be picky. And if things don’t feel right after a session or two, it’s okay to quit and find someone else.
“Both coaching and therapy are tools for self-development. They provide great opportunities to have a professional guide you through the most challenging obstacles in your life. Depending on what you want to focus on, you can engage in either service one at a time or both at the same time if you have the means,” writes Stephanie Catahan, for Mind Body Green.
In summary? Trust your gut.