One of the most popular topics I work on in classes and with private clients is communication skills. And a common question I’m asked by students and clients is how they can ask for what they want, when they don’t know what they want. This leads us to work on finding fantasies and exploring desire. One of the first tools I suggest is reading erotica. Erotica is a great way to get a little taste…
Today is Celebrate Bisexuality Day. As as I considered itās approach, and watched Bisexual Awareness Week articles pass through my social media feeds, I realized I hadnāt told my whole story. You can hear parts of in my my Mystery Box Show story, and Iāve referenced bits and pieces elsewhere, but it deserves compiling in one place. I canāt remember a time before I was a sexual being. I was always exploring and seeking out…
Two years ago I attended my first Catalyst Con and it was an amazing experience. I met wonderful people like Tristan Taormino, Cunning Minx, Kate McCombs, JoEllen Notte, Epiphora, and more, and even got a writing gig at Kinkly – a job Iām still doing and loving. Those connections, and the things I learned in the workshops, were instrumental in guiding the path my career would take. Although I was a little less wide eyed,…
2014 was an amazing year, but rather than recap I’m eager to move forward and 2015 is already shaping up to be an incredible year full of classes and events. I have a full slate of classes for the first six months of the year plus a few special events planned. My 2015 classes are kicking off with my popular class, Mapping the Vulva, on February 8th. I couldn’t be more thrilled with the reaction…
I became a sex educator out of necessity. At the age of 13 I had to teach my grandmother about anatomy – specifically the hymen. I guess I should back up a little bit. I was raised by a very sex-positive librarian mother. No knowledge was forbidden. I grew up wandering the stacks of libraries and I learned early, in the days of Dewey Decimal and card catalogs, to find the information I wanted. In…
Yet another study has been released telling women how they can, and should, find orgasms and sexual pleasure. And as usual the online commentary is immediate. The way science tells women theyāre supposed to enjoy sex is as fickle as the way science tells us weāre supposed to have a healthy diet. And like the high vs low fat diet or the carb vs no carb debate, the controversy between the clitoral and vaginal orgasm…
I talk to a lot of people who are either new to the kink scene or are curious but not yet involved. The general wisdom, and common advice, given to newcomers is that they should attend a munch. This advice is sometimes questioned because a munch can be an intimidating first step, especially for people that are shy, introverted, or experience social anxiety. Recently Iāve felt my own reservations about this advice. I was talking…
I did a couple of photoshoots nearly two weeks ago and I’ve been waiting for the results not too patiently ever since. I’m not the one who needs to do the culling and editing, so it’s hard not to expect instant gratification. Although modeling is closer to a hobby than part of the free-lance puzzle that is my job, I still get very excited whenever I’m asked to shoot. Seemingly unrelated, I went on a…
Well, the Mystery Box Show performance has come and gone, and it was an amazing experience. I can’t remember the last time I was so nervous but once I stepped on stage it was sheer exhilaration. Now I’m wondering if I have any other stories up my sleeve so I can do it again! Did you miss the show? Not to worry! There’s a video you can watch right here:
As I was giving rope tastings at a recent event a woman said to me, āI didnāt know chicks could do that.ā I was so floored, so confused, that I didnāt even respond. I had tied her up and sheād had a wonderful time. That was what mattered. And while her preconception (and her language) were problematic, at least my presence as the lone female rope top at the event made a difference. Iād like…
