Sex & Relationship Coaching

I draw from my own passion and life experiences as well as my professional training to provide you with an expert, grounded, outside perspective. Together, we can find where you’re getting stuck and figure out a way forward.

“Working with Stella has been life changing. Her coaching provided information and skills that have been empowering and a source of confidence for both of us.  Stella’s warm personality, enthusiasm for her work, and depth of knowledge quickly put us at ease. The entire experience was joyful and rewarding, and brought us closer together as a couple.” ~Steve & Natalie

I ask the right questions to help you understand what you desire, and figure out how to get it.

The coaching process is unique to each client. Sometimes we find small areas of missing information, and sometimes there’s a longer process of learning, exploration, and growth.

Popular coaching topics include:

• Working on relationship issues such as communication
• Trying new things, including open relationships and kink
• Figuring out desires and boundaries
• Exploring dating for the first time or after a long break
• Finding ways to expereince more pleasure

Coaching is an empowering process that helps you build the confidence and skills to meet your goals.

Together, we’ll figure out the challenges facing your relationships and sex life, and make sure you build the tools to have more satifying relationships and better sex.

“Stella is a uniquely wonderful coach.” ~Chaline

Why hire a coach?

The short answer: why hire a professional in any field?

You hire a personal trainer to have more effective workouts, to meet your fitness goals, and to have accountability around showing up.

Well, you hire a sex and relationship coach for the same reasons.

A coach can spot issues or sticking points in your current relationships or sex life, help you prioritize your goals, and provide accountability (and cheerleading – without the outfit.)

Sex and sexuality are specialized fields with specialized training. The sex coaching I offer builds on the professional coaching training I’ve received coupled with my intimacy educator training, and acknowledges how integral sex and sexuality are to your overall wellbeing. I don’t just help you have better sex, I help you redefine what sex means to you. Many of my sessions include “ah-ha” moments for my clients when I suggest more ways they can achieve connection and intimacy.

A big part of my coaching practice is education. The information people receive around sex and sexuality rarely includes how to give and receive pleasure, and how to form healthy and fulfilling relationships.

I can help you explore your desires, express your fantasies, and have the sex and relationships you’re craving. Sessions can include everything from learning anatomy or practical skills and techniques to expanding your outlook and growing your confidence.

When you work with me, all of my knowledge and experience come into play. Like a sex-positive reference librarian, I can also point you to additional resources online, in books, and in the form of events and organizations.

“I recently became single after more than 20 years of marriage. Stella’s coaching on modern dating — online dating, safer sex concepts, boundaries, intimate communication, etc. have been vital to navigating this change in my life. Sessions with her are a safe place where I can ask questions without fear and get the answers I need. I highly recommend her services.” ~ Bill

What is it like to work with me?

Here’s the thing. I know it’s scary to talk to someone about sex, sexuality, and relationships. Our culture doesn’t make space for that kind of vulnerability. And on the rare occasions sex talk is allowed (locker rooms, over drinks) it isn’t with a professional that can answer your questions – it’s with friends who might have the same misconceptions as you.

I hear again and again that people don’t talk to their doctors or therapists about sex. And that’s doubly true when it involves anything considered outside the norm, or especially vulnerable.

And that’s why I do what I do. I create a safe and comfortable space where you can talk – maybe for the first time – about your desires, your sexuality, your wants, and your needs.

So many people haven’t talked about this before – maybe even haven’t thought about it before – that folks often don’t know what they need or want. I can help you figure that out too.

All you need to know is that you want more – that you want something to change – and I can help you.

I help you set goals, and create an action plan to meet those goals. And I’ll support you every step of the way. I may assign “homework” in the form of things to read, or worksheets to fill out. I often suggest journaling so you can dig deep into your feelings and thoughts. If you’re working with a partner, I may suggest exercises for you to try together.

The details of what we’ll do will vary because every coaching session is tailor designed to your needs, and your working style.

“I would recommend Stella to anyone interested in deepening their relationship to sex, themselves and their partners.” ~ Pat B.