Hi! I’m Stella Harris.

I’m a certified sex coach.

I draw from my own passion and life experiences as well as my professional training to provide you with an expert, grounded, outside perspective. Together, we can find where you’re getting stuck and figure out a way forward.

“Working with Stella has been life changing. Her coaching provided information and skills that have been empowering and a source of confidence for both of us.  Stella’s warm personality, enthusiasm for her work, and depth of knowledge quickly put us at ease. The entire experience was joyful and rewarding, and brought us closer together as a couple.” ~Steve & Natalie

Photo of Stella

I ask the right questions to help you understand what you desire, and figure out how to get it.

I’ll help you find new ways to think about your sex life. Sometimes there’s just a little bit of missing information, and sometimes there’s a process of learning, exploration, and growth.

The thing that I love most about my work is helping you figure out the challenges facing you in your sex life right now, and knowing you’ll go home and have better sex (with a partner or with yourself) because of the work we do together.

Why sex coaching?

It’s a common enough question – with both short and long answers.

The short version: why hire a professional in any field?

You hire a personal trainer to have more effective workouts, to meet your fitness goals, and to have accountability around showing up.

Well, you hire a sex coach for all the same reasons.

A sex coach can spot issues or sticking points in your current sex life, help you prioritize your goals, and provide accountability (and cheerleading – without the outfit.)

The sex coaching I offer builds on the life coaching training I’ve received, and acknowledges how integral sex and sexuality are to your overall wellbeing. I don’t just help you have better sex, I help you redefine what sex means to you. Many of my sessions include “ah-ha” moments for my clients when I suggest more ways they can achieve connection and intimacy.

Because sex is so much more than mashing our genitals together. Sex is a way to feel united with our partners, sex is a way to feel deep connection, and sex is a way to feel one with ourselves.

All these things apply whether we’re having sex with ourselves, with a single partner, or with multiple partners.

A big part of sex coaching is sex education. The information people receive around sex and sexuality rarely includes how to give and receive pleasure, and how to form healthy and fulfilling relationships.

I can help you explore your desires, express your fantasies, and have the sexual life of your dreams. Sessions can include everything from learning anatomy or practical skills and techniques to expanding your outlook and growing your confidence.

When you work with me, all of my knowledge and experience come into play. Like a sex-positive reference librarian, I can also point you to additional resources online, in books, and in the form of local events and organizations.


Ready to get started? Get in touch today.

I’m excited to announce my new column for Portland’s Willamette Week newspaper! Each week I’ll answer reader questions on sex and relationships with my patented blend of confessional storytelling mixed with expert advice and educational information.

First up, sex parties.

What it’s like to work with me

Here’s the thing. I know it’s scary to talk to someone about sex, sexuality, and relationships. Our culture doesn’t make space for that kind of vulnerability. And on the rare occasions sex talk is allowed (locker rooms, over drinks) it isn’t with a professional that can answer your questions – it’s with friends who might have the same misconceptions as you.

I hear again and again that people don’t talk to their doctors or therapists about sex. And that’s doubly true when it involves anything considered outside the norm, like kink or open relationships.

And that’s why I do what I do. I create a safe and comfortable space where you can talk – maybe for the first time – about your desires, your sexuality, your wants, and your needs. Learn more about what sex coaching with me is like?

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Stella’s class ‘Mapping the Vulva’ was AWESOME! I learned more in 2 hours with her than I have in 40+ years of doctor appointments, pap smears, and having 2 children. She is a natural teacher, putting her audience at ease, informative, and professional. I would highly recommend the class –  her suggestions really do work! My husband and I attended together and I haven’t had this big of a smile in a while.
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